Everything has a Purpose....

I'm writing this blog-

mainly for myself...

but also for others who are in my life-

so that i can reflect back on it and see what i have gone through...

and hopefully how i have grown..

i am almost done with college...

and i have a lot to do to prepare for being an adult 

-and living in the "real world"...

i want this to be a record...

of my life-

and what is in my life-

to show me...

my faults

my flaws

my positves

my purpose

my loves

my fears

my tears

my joys

i am going to be transparent-to show the me-that Jesus loves and [fearfully and wonderfully made]

today-i'm writing about baby Leeland<3

Baby Leeland had his second of three surgeries today. I hurt for this baby and his momma and daddy. I love praying to Jesus and begging in his name to heal this baby's heart. I just love knowing the He has a purpose and a plan for everything and everyone. He never leaves us alone...even in the darkest valleys...or when we feel alone...he watches over us!

I love Psalm 147:3- I think it was written perfectly for baby L. 

I can't imagine what Holly and Jonny are going through with this kind of pain being put on their baby. I can't imagine having no power or control over your baby. No way to stop his pain or tears from coming. How they must trust these doctors that they only met 3 months ago...with their sons life. I couldn't imagine...packing my bags at home...putting him in the car seat...and pulling into the interstate to head to Arkansas Children's...to carry my baby to a cold room...where they arent welcome...

I can't imagine how God felt...bringing his son into the world FULLY KNOWING...that his son was born to die a painful death. His son was born...to hurt...to be made a fool...to be broken...beaten...for me.

I know that Jonny and Holly were preparing for a healthy baby...one that they never wanted to give up to someone they never knew...

But God did it...and He had a purpose.

God did it to Leeland too...and He has a purpose.

I am so blessed.

I am so loved.

I am carried to the table of the Lord every day.

Broken and Sinful.

Ashamed of things I have done and do.

Afraid-Alone-Confused

But Jesus was born-for all of those things I have-

to protect me.

to love me.

to heal me.

to bind wounds. 

to heal broken baby hearts.

Our God is a God who saves<3